NO SUMMIT TONIGHT

[Anonymous]

Golden Ears

Did I ever tell you that I speak my mind because it hurts too much to bite my tongue….all the time!

Scheduled as a ‘C’ Hike but knowing your going into the lion’s den you had to expect this was going to be ‘D’ hike on steroids.

Our CD for the day Mark T or alias Boss Man/ NSH VP/ CD use to reside in the local town of Maple ridge, so this was Frank and his coming out swan song stomping ground as they both discovered hiking. This is where both Frank and Boss Man became men! Yea, I know, this is public forum so I won’t go there with that issue. Just keep it in the back of your mind and only think about it when you have some sick deep rooted neurotic moments.

Rumour had it Boss Man/ VP/ CD had summated Golden ears over 200 times! Can you believe anyone has done Golden Ears 200 times? I did.

Now today was like he went to confession or something and the real truth came out…..”maybe only 75 times” he said. What a wimp. What a fraud. Then he adds to try and make up for the rumour he had spread that “I did it 15 times in one summer”. As if that is going to make any difference. It was like he was trying to get some sympathy or something for not coming clean and telling the truth in the first place. Man, Boss Man and his stories.

Then the next fraud was unleashed by a Newbie. Like, this all came out within the first five minutes in the parking lot and we had not even broken trail yet. True confessions.

Anyways, Benji and her dog boozer had told me that they had climbed the elusive Mt Ogilvie outside of Hope. I say elusive because several of us have tried twice with no success, not to mention Big Bird has tried four times. So, Benji had become a bit of a local cult hero in the NSH ‘D’ communities. Just mentioning her name brought visions of wonder women scaling tall mountains with one leap.

Giving a little background to this wonder women vision story of bagging Ogilvie with her dog Boozer….there must be some story with that name? About 10 days ago I am climbing the Gargoyles with Ziggy Stardust and the top of my backpack starts to buzz. I stop in a precarious spot to read my Blackberry and there is a note from Newbie. It says something about her story of bagging Ogilvie might not be quite accurate. What the heck does that mean?

Today the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth came out. Newbie had only looked it up in a book and thought it would be a good mountain to try.

Man, this was like starting a hike with Phyllis Diller and Red Skelton on the same show. Who do you laugh at the most?

So much for sincerity in the great and wonderful outdoors.

Back to what we were here for today. Six ambitious hikers broke trial on this holiday weekend to see if we could be lead to the holy summit of Golden Ears, all 1716 m (5630 ft). I think everyone had been to the top before but for me I wanted to see the great views I heard about. The one and only time I had hiked Golden Ears was last Labour Day weekend with Gordon E; the crazy dirt biker; Maurice; we miss you; Carolyn the mountain goat and the Korean with the French name, Michelle. It pour rained all day yet that crazy Irishman, Maurice and Carolyn still made it up and down in about 8 hours. Now they did not make the summit because they got lost they were moving so fast. The rest of us made the top in a complete white out. Not fun.

Make up time was due this long weekend….maybe.

Golden Ears seems to have its own weather pattern. Sunny in Vancouver, rainy at Golden Ears. Sunny at GE then you can guess what next? We left Vancouver in sunshine so I had my shorts and summer hiking boots. I kind of think my head space is still back in southern Nevada where I took a two week vacation hiking during April because I cannot seem to come to terms that winter is still very present in our alpine. Last week I was totally unprepared with proper gear on Frosty. This week I was little better but did not have the right boots for my 12 point crampons. What me worry? There will not be enough snow up high to be an issue.Hmmm this does not sound good.

We enter the lion’s den and try to keep up with Boss Man/VP/CD. He is on a mission. Probably full of that Catholic guilt for starting false rumours. I am thinking that I need to be careful. I cannot keep this pace with all these thirty something’s for 9 or 10 hours. Luckily after a few quick water breaks we get to the snow and Boss Man slows down to break trail for us mere mortals.

Now things start to come to me real easy. Pace is slow, heart is calm. Body is soaking wet from dripping sweat trying to keep up to this point and the rain. Did I mention rain? Within minutes of leaving the parking lot it started to rain. Just like the last long weekend I climbed Golden Rainfall. Side bar: something that ticks me off is pay parking at our parks that we already bought and paid for years ago. There is something immoral about this don’t you think? This is a subject to discuss perhaps for a different forum.

The clouds rolled in and we could hardly see one step in front of ourselves. Once past the emergency hut which still had snow up to the second floor we could not see anything except grey out lines. I pitched in to try and help Boss Man/VP/CD and within a few steps I just dropped into the abyss. Just blindly walked right off a small coronas. Thank goodness I had my axe ready and ski pole. Not sure if I would have gone far because everything that should stick into the snow did. None the less I was shaken.

Boss Man took over and did an admirable job at that. We got within 60 metres off the top as the clouds rolled in and out. Even for Boss Man who has ‘only’ been up here 75 times was not always sure where he was going. We arrived at a shoot that was reasonably steep…say 40 degrees. Since I only had my baby crampons I decided this was enough for me. The light had just lifted and I could see my way down so I made an exit. Not to mention my knees were getting cold as the alpine wind picked up.

Ms Sandstorm dug her crampons in and broke trail for everyone going up the shoot…..I taught her well on Needle….and oh yea you too Lionel. I was just not confident I could get back down without some difficulties. Probably did not help that I had already blindly walked off a coronas. The sky lifted and I quickly hiked back down to the emergency shelter to relax and have lunch.

Within minutes of getting comfortable Sooke the Spook and Michelle the Korean with the French name broke over the ridge heading back down. Following behind them was everyone else. I guess the last few metres was covered in ice and made the summit to difficult. No summit tonight.

Back to the Canadian/Koreans. How come they do not pack like the Koreans I met last week on Frosty? Those guys had lawn chairs, gas stove to cook hot soup and noodles and all the other trimmings to make life more comfortable. Come on S&M, step up to the plate next time!

Do you remember Burton Cummings? He was/is a musician from Winter Peg. Many, and I mean many years ago he wrote a song called ‘No Sugar Tonight’. All day that song was like a worm in my brain. I could not get the harmony but the main chorus kept playing over and over in my head. So I changed the chorus line to fit the environment we were in today:

No Summit Tonight in my coffee
No Summit Tonight in my tea
No summit to stand behind beside me
No Summit to run with me.

Some nine plus hours later I dragged my old body back to the parking lot while Boss Man/VP/CD and Ms Sandbagger hung back to search for the birds and bees. Where was Frank? Whimpering while chewing on another rock knowing that Golden Ears will never be the same.

So get healthy soon Cam Man and maybe on a another day we will get to watch the Golden Eagles fly over the top of the summit while we bask in the sun having lunch on the summit.

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